Better, Not Bitter
Overcoming Life's Challenges with Grace
Embracing Our Unique Purpose in God's Plan
In the face of life's difficulties, setbacks, and disappointments, we are often tempted to become bitter and cynical. It's a natural human response to the pain and frustration we experience. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to a higher path - to allow these trials to make us better, not bitter.
We can discover how to navigate the complexities of life with grace, and emerge as stronger, more purpose-driven disciples.
Recognizing Our God-Given Mission
Embrace the truth that we are each created by God for a unique purpose. The prophet Jeremiah reminds us: "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5).
This profound reality should fill us with a deep sense of dignity and calling. We are not accidents of evolution, but rather a direct willed thought of God. Each of us has been hand-crafted with a specific role to play in his grand plan.
As St. John Paul II eloquently expressed, we are "a tile in the Mosaic, the cosmic drama of life that the Lord is creating." If even one of us is missing, the picture remains incomplete. This underscores the immense value and importance of our individual lives.
The Prayer of St. John Henry Newman beautifully captures this truth:
"God, you have created me to do you some definite service. You have committed some work to me which you have not committed to another. I have my mission. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons."
We must resist the temptation to compare ourselves to others or to strive to be someone we are not. Our worth is not found in status, possessions, or accomplishments, but in simply being who God created us to be. Humility is living our life according to our right size, not trying to be somebody else, doing something else, or be somewhere else.
Embracing the Circumstances of Our Lives
Once we grasp the reality of our God-given purpose, the next step is to embrace the circumstances of our lives, even when they are difficult or painful. Life can be difficult, complicated, painful, and disappointing. Things don't always go according to our plan. Our dreams are not always fulfilled. We can be hurt by others.
It's in these moments that we are tempted to become bitter - to allow the waves, the 'should-ofs,' the 'could-ofs' of life to drag us down. Instead, see these trials as opportunities for growth and betterment.
Reflecting on the words of Jesus to Pontius Pilate - "For this I was born, and for this I have come into the world" (John 18:37) - we are reminded that our difficulties are not meaningless. Rather, they are part of the Lord's plan for our lives, meant to shape and refine us.
As the Prayer of St. John Henry Newman affirms:
“I have my mission. Somehow I am necessary for your purposes. I have a part in the great work. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons.”
This perspective invites us to approach life's challenges with a posture of humility and trust. Rather than resisting or resenting the circumstances we face, we can surrender to God's will, confident that He is using even our most painful experiences for our ultimate good and His greater glory.
Responding with Obedience and Surrender
The final step is to respond to God's plan for our lives with obedience and surrender. This begins with a daily decision to give God permission to lead us, to guide us, to inspire us to where he would have us go, to do what he would have us do, to live as he would have us live.
This is not always easy, as it requires us to let go of our own agendas and desires. But it is in this surrender that we find true freedom and peace. As the Prayer of St. John Henry Newman declares:
"I shall do good, I shall do his work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place. Fulfill your high purposes in me. I am here to serve you, to be yours."
When we live our lives in this posture of obedience and trust, we can experience the serenity and joy that come from aligning our will with God's. Even amidst the storms of life, we can remain anchored in the truth that happiness and serenity and peace is... an inside job.
If we are able to literally start every day on our knees and if we're not, then certainly do so from a place of openness at the level of the heart of the spirit, a receptivity to ask the Lord every day for help, we will be empowered to respond to life's challenges with grace rather than bitterness.
Practical Steps to Becoming "Better, Not Bitter"
So how can we put these principles into practice in our own lives? Here are some practical steps to help us become "better, not bitter":
Reflect on Your God-Given Purpose
Take time each day to meditate on the truth that you are a "direct willed thought of God," created for a unique purpose that no one else can fulfill. Pray the words of the St. John Henry Newman prayer, allowing them to sink deep into your heart.
Consider keeping a journal to record your reflections on your God-given mission and how you sense the Lord is calling you to live it out. This can help you stay grounded in your true identity and calling, even when life gets challenging.
Surrender Your Circumstances to God
When faced with difficulties, disappointments, or painful experiences, resist the urge to become bitter or resentful. Instead, consciously surrender those circumstances to God, trusting that he is using them for your ultimate good and his greater glory.
You might find it helpful to pray a simple prayer like, "Lord, I give you permission to use this situation for my betterment. Help me to become better, not bitter." Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any areas of bitterness or unforgiveness that need to be healed.
Cultivate a Posture of Obedience and Trust
Make a daily habit of starting and ending your day in prayer, asking God for the grace to follow his will and to live according to his purposes for your life. Literally start every day on your knees in a spirit of openness and receptivity to the Lord's leading.
Throughout the day, continually surrender your plans, decisions, and actions to God. Ask him to guide your steps and empower you to do the "next right thing" or the "next loving thing," rather than striving to control the outcome.
Find Encouragement in Community
Surround yourself with fellow believers who can support you in this journey of becoming "better, not bitter." Seek out a small group, Bible study, or accountability partner who can pray with you, offer wisdom and perspective, and help you stay focused on God's purposes.
Embracing the Transformative Power of Adversity
As we navigate the complexities of life, it's easy to become discouraged and tempted to let bitterness take root. But the Gospel message, as illuminated by the wisdom of St. John Henry Newman, calls us to a higher path.
By embracing our God-given purpose, surrendering our circumstances to his will, and responding with obedience and trust, we can allow even our most painful experiences to become opportunities for growth and transformation. Rather than becoming bitter, we can become better - stronger, wiser, and more effective disciples of Christ.
This is not an easy journey, but it is one that leads to true freedom, peace, and fulfillment.
So let us take courage, and commit ourselves to becoming "better, not bitter" - trusting that the Lord who created us for a purpose will use all things, even our trials and tribulations, for our ultimate good and His greater glory.